ChalkedUp editor Mike Barrow dragged me back to the world of music journalism, where I was missed by no one, with the promise of press for my band's show on Friday. So Dan and I sat down on the sun-dappled terrasse of a café called the Internet and had the following discussion about the band that has taken up much of our lives over the past eight years.

Naben: Tell me something about touring. We'€™ve done, what, four now, all cross-Canada and of varying degrees of success.

Dan: Touring is really a love-hate relationship. On good days it can be like you're in love and are ready to spend the rest of your life together –

N: Woah.

D: - and on bad days you want to fuck off, give up on it and move back in with your parents and watch cable for the rest of your life. In the past we have had some good shows and bad ones on tour, and the one optimistic thing is that at least it’s been better every time. I remember hearing that a band has to do at least 5-7 "grunt" tours before they start to see crowds and money. That’s what people call ‘paying your dues,’ but think of spending almost twelve months on the road over four or so years touring to often mediocre crowds.

N: Christ, I hadn’t totalled up the months like that before. My... life. Father…

D: When you’re doing something creative that you believe in and you show up at a bar in god knows where and two people turn up on a Saturday night cause a DJ is spinning Britney Spears across the street you start to question your own validity.

N: At least she’ll be dead soon.

D: A good part of the future of touring for us is Europe, because they just have a denser population that’s more prone to show-going. I'd say America too, but fuck the border fuck the border fuck the border.

N: I tried wearing my lucky turban last time we went through, and even that was no dice. Does it feel like it's taken us longer than most bands to make progress?

D: Hm. It’s just that we've stayed as a band under one name for a long time and developed and changed our sound. The Bend Sinister of 2008 is completely different then the Bend Sinister of 2001, and each time you change what you're doing musically (drastically that is) it's almost like starting again. I sometimes wish we played the sort of music that was the scene-explosion of the moment and could take off overnight, but most of those bands have no tomorrow morning, so I'd probably invest my quick cash in real estate.

N: Yeah. Christ. If I’d gone right into law school I’d be almost done by now. What does everyone in the band do on the side (not jobs, other projects) and what do you think of it?

D: I guess everyone has other bands on the go except you, with your novel coming up to the end of the first draft.

N: Second draft, actually. I’m ready to be rejected by the world in an entirely new field. Going to be playing some guitar on Edo’s new electronic music, too, if we ever get around to it.

D: Whatever. Dana is a powerhouse Vancouver drummer and plays in Spread Eagle, Hard Drugs, Karen Foster, and Small Fame. Small Fame’s my other project, which is kind of retro organ rock.

N: It’s a lot cooler than that sounds. But I’m not going to ejaculate adjectives all over it.

D: Jon plays in a folk vein and was just in the studio recording his other project, The Old Familiar. Joel plays bass in Cinderpop and backs up Winston as well. And myself, apart from Small Fame, I score films and video freelance so I always have something on the go in that department. I think that if any of us just had the ol’ Bend Sinister on the go we'd be limiting our creativity too much, in times when we’re not in the studio or touring.

N: Yeah. It’s nice to have a huge dominating focus that rules most of my life decisions, though. Right?

D: Your dad?

N: He’s a good guy. Who are the most and least "rock and roll" people in the band?

D: Dana is the most rock-and-roll.

N: Agreed. He might be the first rockstar ever to choke to death on someone else’s vomit, if he plays his cards right. On the other hand, Jon and I had a conversation about how he’d probably be a great boyfriend to some lucky girl. (It was late at night and we were driving. Weird topics come up. I refuse to defend myself.)

D: Jon is the least rock-and-roll, no insult intended. He’s an amazing musician, and he has been known to rock out from time to time. But I can easily see him living on some tropical island away from society forever, wearing white silk all day, throwing flowers in the wind and listening to John Lennon.

N: That’s what happens to all of us when we die. Awkward transition: why are so many of the songwriters / musicians that you admire and our music draws from (Elton John, Freddie Mercury, Owen Pallet) gay?

D: Good question. I guess that I really hate cock rock and insincerity or any sort of tough guy masculine facade.

N: I love the façade. Hence my continued love of death metal. It’s interesting that you talk about the whole stage / acting element… Mercury, Bowie, and Elton are all sexually ambiguous performers who really made their music and lyrics such a self-aware play on the weirdness of performing –

D: Do you think this is actually of interest to anyone?

N: You make a good point. How about some random, irreverent anecdotes that show how tongue-in-cheek we are about the whole music thing? Could you tell us about the racist gaffe you made in the jam space?

D: Ugh… I made a joke about how I was heading to Abbotsford to hang out with my girlfriend’s family, and it was amusing that her South African grandma is old school and not quite as PC as today’s society calls for. In an attempt to amp up the comedy and dumb it down for the band –

N: Appreciate that.

D: - I said something really satirical, in context, that used the “N word.” Bad taste, I know, but among the band often the more shocking and inhumane the better, but unfortunately the girl that patrols the space happened to walk by at the worst moment. Her look of disgust, terror, shock and disappointment will forever be ingrained in memory. I don't think I can ever look her in the face again.

N: What made you switch from being a serious film student to watching as much Hollywood slurry as the studios could produce?

D: After being in film school and watching hundreds of art films and cultural films, I grew to loathe always watching film to theorize it and critique. I hated how people always had to intellectualize film, and looked down on escapist cinema. I’ll still watch foreign, art house, documentaries, and the like, but I also include a massive dose of Hollywood slurry as you call it. If I want to kick back at the end of the day, I'd rather watch Live Free or Die Hard over Godard, or Bergman, or some sort of poetic portrayal of a decaying society represented by a young farmhand’s relationship with his neighbour’s dog.

N: Nice. That really speaks to why I love playing pop music and am really wary about popular music criticism. Uh, how about another typical question: How is a band like marriage? What makes it shittier / better?

D: Being in the band is almost the same reference I used to touring.. A love / hate relationship. Sometimes you need space from everyone, but when things are going well and everyone is excited about the future, it’s like an exclusive club that you can brag about being a member of.

N: What about that old Groucho Marx quote?

D: Oh, the one nobody gives a fuck about?

N: Yeah, that'€™s the one.

<p>By Naben Ruthnum and Dan Moxon</p> <p>See <a href="http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&amp;friendID=9154639">Bend Sinister</a> on <a href="http://chalkedup.com/events/view/bend-sinister-2">January 25th</a> at <a href="http://chalkedup.com/guides/view/richard-s-on-richards">Richard's on Richards</a>.</p> <p>Photos courtesy of Pop!Zap and Corey Johanson.</p>